Valley of Thoughts

The loss of family members didn’t only stop at my
arwah bg.lang… this time, kak ngah…she was the most pious daughter, the soft
one among the siblings. she was happily married to my bro in law and she got
pregnant not long after her wedding. She was so cheerful; and I could see the
glow in her motherly face. While she was
expecting, she had this cough which didn’t stop even after taking medicine
after medicine, and seeing doctors one after another. That time I was having
study leave before my final semester exm. (again,exm) when she was in the
hospital b4 entering the labour room, she told me that she wanted me to take
care of her while she was in pantang since I was having a holiday at that time.
The day she delivered the baby was the 2^nd day of puasa month. And
the baby girl was named Ain Sumayyah. After she delivered the baby, while she
was in her pantang, her coughs worsen. She got tired easily. She had to stop
and sit for a while after coming down from the stairs to the kitchen. She would
sit on this 1 particular chair for a while and after that continue walking to
the toilet.

 One
day, in the 3^rd week of ramadhan, while I was watching tv with her,
suddenly she coughed. And there was blood in her phlegm. I got panicked, I called
my mom at school and told her that I wanted to take kak ngah to the hosp. then
my mom called my dad, but he said, just took her to a clinic nearby, which the
doc is a family friend. The doc just gave her cough syrup and didn’t do anythg
more. I saw kak ngah panting and tired, even after just a few steps. After she
bathe, I was the one to dried her hair, put clothes on her, cuz she didn’t have
the energy. One morning during sahur, she passed out. He face went pale, her
feet were as cold as ice. My mom called her name, but she didn’t answer. My dad
and her husband took her to the hosp. she gained consciousness at the hosp, but
the doc there sense something was wrong with her respiratory system. She sent
kak ngah to GH in Melaka. There, kak ngah collapsed again. I didn’t know what
happened. I just knew that I had the same feeling the night where bg.lang met
an accident. I tried to ignore the feeling, didn’t want it 2 overcome me. I was
at home, with the baby cuz my bg.long, mak, ayah n my bro in law were at the
hosp. my younger sis was at her hostel. She went back home when I told her kak
ngah was in the hosp. I called my dad, asking about her condition. He said, the
doc said that 70% of her lungs were gone. She was diagnosed with Pneumonia. I
was so shocked, tears filled my eyes, I couldn’t get my mouth open to say
anything. Deep down inside, I prayed to Allah so that she’ll be fine. Then I
got another call. Saying that she was in coma and in the ICU. i wanted to go to
the hosp but my mak long didn’t allow me to drive. So she asked my cousin’s
husband to drive me to the hosp. along the way, I prayed a lot for miracle to
happen. I cant afford to lose another family mmber…only miracle from Him can
save her.

But when I reached there, everything was too late…she
was gone…I went into the ICU where my parents, her husband, my bro, my cousins
gathered…I hugged my mom, I hugged my bro, I hugged my cousin sister…I almost
fell to the floor seeing the nurses took the wires from the dono what machine
off from her. I was told that she was gone the night b4, but it’s the machine
that kept her heart beating…the night when she was gone, I had a dream, where
she was doing ok, recovered from the illness, and went back home to her baby.
But it was only a dream…the day after, she was gone…Allah loves her more…I went
back home…looking at the 3weeks old baby, I couldn’t stop myself from
crying…wondering how the future of this baby would be without her ummi…that
night till raya, I was the 1 who slept beside the baby, prepared milk for her
whenever she cried at the middle of the night…sometimes every hour she’d cry
for milk and to change her pampers…this time, it was my dad who was affected
the most…because…I think, if he just allowed me to take her to the hosp the day
she coughed blood, maybe she still can be saved…but…it’s fated…even though we
do everything, we cant change anything that has been fated…

I’ve lost a brother who was close to me. I’ve lost my
one and only elder sister who was also very close to me…she was the 1 I looked
for when I need advices, she was the 1 whom I talked to when I had problems
with my ex bf…we laughed together, we cried together… I still remember, I was
the one who cried when she broke of with her ex. Funny ey, but that was what
had happened…she was a good listener and counselor, bcuz she took psychology in
college. she had everything that she ever wanted in her life when God took back
all of them…Allah lebih sygkn die..she passed away in puasa month, just like
bg.lang…and sure there’ll be a good place for her there… now, the baby, Ain
Sumayyah is 2yrs++. Healthy, fair n chubby just like kak ngah…I cant afford to
lose another family members..seriously…so friends, do appreciate them while u
still can laugh and cry with them…

Al-Fatihah to arwah kak ngah n arwah bg.lang…

Semoga roh mereka di tmptkn di tpt2 org yg soleh dan
solehah…

Amin….

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 24th, 2007 at 3:21 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.